OHHHHHHH YESSSSSSSSS, time for another April Fool's Day script!
Despite this script's silly nature, it's actually possible to die this time. However, the health system is more like Undertale's rather than Touhou's--when you get hit, you won't disappear, you will just take damage. Rather than taking a set amount of damage though, your health will just constantly drain while you're in contact with a projectile.
There are four "difficulties" to choose from in-game, but they only affect how quickly your health will drain.
Please bear in mind that due to this more forgiving health system, I have made the bullet patterns themselves quite difficult. It's not like I expect you to perfect everything though (unless you're insane...), but it's more like resource management--you will most likely get hit quite a few times, but try to limit the amount of time you spend in contact with bullets and try to last as long as you can!
There are multiple endings, as well as quite a bit of alternative dialogue based on your choices, so have fun exploring. :)